Heading Logo


Been There, Done That

By Laura Nethken Published: June 18, 2017 4:00 AM

Now there's a whole new generation of commercials running for me to complain about. I used to try to watch the show more than the commercials. I'd plan chores during commercial breaks, but it usually didn't work out anyway. I'd get back just in time for the next round of ads to be starting.

Now, I don't even bother trying to watch the show. Not only are all the movies reruns, they're ones we just watched within the past week or so. I can do their lines better than they can.

There are millions of episodes of old TV shows and thousands and thousands of movies, so why are they replaying the same ones over and over again?

I left for work the other morning and "Balls of Fury" was just coming on. It's not a bad movie, but it is 10 years old. Haven't they made anything recently that's worth watching? And worst of all, it was on again when I got home from work in the afternoon.

Please tell me it didn't run over and over continuously all day. And tell me Dave didn't sit there watching it over and over. Watching it again eight hours later is bad enough.

[Article continues below]

Maybe our Beagle Boy Cletus turned it back on. We leave the TV on for him when we leave to get groceries on Saturdays, to Dave's total consternation.

My point is that if we were home, the TV would be on, so what's the difference? The house has a whole different feel without the TV on. I'm trying to soothe Cletus' separation anxiety issues as much as possible.

Dave's point is why are we putting unnecessary wear and tear on a 51-inch TV just for the dog?

The bigger point is how come it's always tuned in to cartoons when we get back? Maybe the commercials aren't as awkward on the cartoon channels.

I don't want the K-Y Jelly ad coming on when I'm sitting there talking with my Dad. Or my 7-year-old running around singing "Viva, Viagra."

[Article continues below]

Maybe Cletus is watching more family-friendly commercials like the one for Aqua-Dog. It's a water bottle you can clip to your belt so you always have a drink of water for your dog, like on a walk in the park or a long car ride.

You squeeze the bottle, water fills the funnel thing on top and Fido gets a drink. When he's done, let go and the water drains back into the bottle. No fuss, no muss.

Or so they say. They have obviously never had the pleasure of watching any of my boys get a drink. From grand ol' Duke to granddog Bo and Mr. Cletus, they all have had it splattered around like they sprung a leak. And I'm not too sure about all that "backwash" going back in the bottle after they drink.

Hopefully, the cartoon channels don't inundate small children and corrupt their young minds with all those annoying prescription drug commercials. How did some of them ever get past the storyboard stage in the process of creating a TV ad?

Like the antihistamine ad. "This has six allergy blockers and that one only has one, and six is greater than one." If you have to tell your customers that six is more than one, you're working with a pretty slow crowd.

Or the ones that warn you not to take their product if you are allergic to it or any of its ingredients. Again, if you have to spell that out, you're not making any reservations for the Mensa picnic, are you?

The one that's really getting my goat lately shows young people in their 20s who now have cancer or some other horrific disease. They say there is a vaccine available and that if they had been given it when they were 10 or 12, it could have prevented the disease.

Then they ask their parents if they knew about the vaccine. Accusing them of knowing about it and not having their kids vaccinated. What is that exactly?

Oh sure, I knew about it, I could have prevented you from getting some life-threatening disease, but I just didn't feel like taking you to the doctor for a three-year stretch Whatever.

I do hope the cartoon channels are showing the new Danny Trejo ads for Sling TV. Not the scary one where he says people say he's evil, but he thinks the cable companies are the truly evil ones.

Now he's telling everybody to get "Picky with it" like they do with their coffee or vacation spots. Although I could swear on the vacation one, he's telling the guys to get "Piggy with it." I'm just saying.

° 2017 Laura Nethken


Rate this article

Do you want to leave a comment?   Please Log In or Register to comment.