Recordpub.com - Waiting for a day that never came KSU professor remembered for love of son

Dr. Gertrude "Trudy" Steuernagel, 60, a Kent State University political science professor, died Friday. She had been hospitalized since Jan. 29 following an attack at her home. Her son has been charged in connection with the assault. (1990 file photo).

By Matt Fredmonsky
Record-Courier staff writer
Dr. Gertrude "Trudy" Steuernagel had waited for a day that would never come.
She longed for a time when she could learn what her son loved about Dr. Seuss, why he so enjoyed "The Price is Right" or if he thought his mother was funny.
She longed to have a conversation with her only son, Sky A. Walker, who was diagnosed with autism before he turned 3.
Steuernagel, a Kent State University professor, died Friday at Akron City Hospital before she got that chance. Her now 18-year-old son is being held in connection with her death. Steuernagel had been hospitalized since Jan. 29 after sustaining severe head injuries at her Franklin Township home.
Friends and colleagues of the 60-year-old political theory instructor remembered her Saturday as an endlessly loving person who cared for her countless students and her son.
Molly Merryman, a colleague of Steuernagel's who teaches justice studies, spent weekends hosting Steuernagel and Sky at her 10-acre farm in southern Stark County. The farm was a place Sky grew increasingly comfortable with as he became ever more particular about what he did and where he went.
Merryman became fast friends with Steuernagel in 1996, so she had known Sky "since he was a little guy," she said.
"He always loved coming out to my farm," Merryman recalled. "As Sky became less free with where he was comfortable going, certainly over the past couple of years, the visits have been more frequent. And Sky would spend hours walking on my property. No matter the weather, she would just bundle him up ... while Trudy and I would be inside cooking a meal. Those are truly the happiest memories I have.
"One of the things that really has struck me over the years about Trudy is, I've never seen a person so committed to loving," Merryman said. "Her love for Sky is boundless."
Merryman said the mother-son relationship Steuernagel shared with Sky was one of devotion.
Sky was enrolled at Theodore Roosevelt High School in Kent as a junior last year. Sky's father, Scott Walker, had lived with his wife, Trudy, and their son until the mid 1990s. In recent years, Scott Walker had been completely removed from his son's life, Merryman said.
So Steuernagel was left to raise her son alone.
Steuernagel certainly faced challenges in raising her autistic son. At one time, her life became a stressful clash of managing her classes, a household and Sky's school schedule. She chronicled such struggles herself in op-ed pieces written for KSU's student-run newspaper, the Daily Kent Stater.
In March 2008, Steuernagel wrote about the conversation she never had with her son. She said his verbal abilities were limited because of his autism.
"I know he doesn't need to ask if I love him," she wrote. "When we've had a bad day, Sky says "Swap me.' I say, "I'll never swap you. I'm going to keep you forever and ever.'"
In the same op-ed piece, Steuernagel talked about how her hectic agenda affected friendships with colleagues.
"I had no patience with good and decent colleagues who told me how busy they were," she wrote. "Busy? Try spending an evening sitting in a closet with your back to the door trying to hold it shut while your child kicks it in."
She also discussed feeling isolated, and how that isolation grew over the years.
"We can't go out and do the things we used to like to do because Sky gets so overwhelmed. Much of our time, we're here in the house. Sky has taught me to be in the moment," she wrote. "Odd how so many parties that used to include invitations for families are now "adults only.' As friends' children get married, children I've known their entire lives, I get asked to fewer and fewer weddings. Friendships not nurtured die off, I tell myself, not wanting to believe Sky and I are just unwanted."
Sky may have been a source of stress, but Steuernagel also found her son to be a source of joy.
"Sky, as he always does, showed me the way," she wrote. "Even on the worst of days, Sky would find something to enjoy, even if it lasted less than 30 seconds ... So I started to look for my joy."
During their morning routine, Steuernagel would place her son's shoes on his feet and lie back on his bed as he put his feet into his shoes. Steuernagel relished the seconds it took him to complete the task.
"I realized I had approximately 17 seconds where I could lie back and not have to do anything, fear anything, clean anything, teach anything," she wrote.
Portage County Sheriff's Office deputies arrested Sky Jan. 29 after finding his mother lying beaten on the kitchen floor of their Franklin Township home. He is being held in the Portage County jail on a $1.5 million bond.
He is already facing a felonious assault charge for kicking an officer and was set to be arraigned Tuesday for attempted murder. Prosecutors expect to bring additional charges against him because of Steuernagel's death.
The Steuernagel family declined to comment for this story.
Steuernagel had taught at KSU for 35 years, including the two classes she was teaching this semester before her death.
Steven W. Hook, chair of the university's political science department, said Steuernagel was teaching political theory and a course on women and politics this year.
Hook described Steuernagel as a very energetic and passionate person who cared deeply about her research and her students.
"Quite often, students avoid meeting their professors during their office hours," Hook said. "But Trudy frequently had students lining up outside her door, and she would give them all the time in the world to discuss their classes and sometimes their career goals. I believe this is what brought the most satisfaction to Trudy as a scholar. She loved her students."
Merryman said the university is planning a memorial service for Steuernagel on Friday, though details have not yet been finalized. She said students and friends will be welcome.
"More than anything, it's important to convey the love that Sky had for Trudy and the love that Trudy had for Sky," Merryman said. "I think that people who didn't know them, that simply see this one horrible moment in their life, might want to project other stories onto their lives. I really, more than anything, want to say that these were a mother and son who loved each other deeply."