Recordpub.com - VIEWPOINT: Motherhood backlash: It's not easy for full-time moms to re-enter the workforce

By Ruth Knestrict Smith

Every Mother's Day, newspapers run articles about the plight of motherhood in today's culture. Statistics are given on how much a mother's time is worth in business dollars per year (over $100,00, some say); how, on the average, mothers in today's work environments make less than men in comparable positions; and how the burden of managing home and family life rests more heavily on women's shoulders than men's even if the woman is working.
By nature I tend to be very forgiving and somewhat philosophical about these things. I recognized early life isn't fair.
However, this Mother's Day finds me less forgiving. I'm finding I see many things from a different angle now that I'm over 50.
In assessing and pondering the "what ifs" while reading the various articles and statistics, I realized my life plays like one of those case studies researchers insert into their narratives to prove a point.
I graduated from college and started working in professional jobs right away. Then, at 30, I married, quit my job and went with my new spouse to another state. He was offered a transfer that met his career needs and we wanted to be together.
To be honest, I didn't agonize about my career side of it. I figured I could get another position in the new place, maybe a better one, and I did.
***
It was motherhood that "did me in," professionally speaking.
Three years later we had a child, were transferred three more times across country and back again due to my husband's job, and settled in Ohio 10 years ago.
I opted for at-home motherhood throughout because it seemed best for our family, and I was able to do so.
I also recognized (yet again) that I was not willing to do what women who are mothers have to do to "have it all" " especially in a business career. (And, to crystallize the difference, do most men, after children are born, have to spend much time thinking about the energy and sacrifice for self and child it takes to "have it all?")
After 10 years I decided to re-enter the work force. We live in Kent so I looked for a job at Kent State University. It's a big place and I figured there would be opportunity in a variety of areas that would fit my professional training.
There were opportunities, but I found out very quickly that in no way would I be considered for any that were above the level of some version of clerical support in civil servitude, mostly due to the fact that my 10 years as an at-home mother were essentially perceived as anathema to anyone interviewing me.
Forget my decade of very solid professional experience and countless hours of volunteer service. Couple this with vying for positions being sought after by younger professionals (especially younger women) and it became, at times, a very depressing endeavor.
***
I am blessed in many ways, one of which is I am not in need of a salary that would be considered a livable wage, unlike many women returning to the workforce with comparable backgrounds who lose their husbands due to death, disability or divorce.
I took the jobs I could get (at a very low rate of pay), learned my way around and proved my skills " all over again.
I now have a job more commensurate with my education and background, but realize I could have done this job as well when I first started back to work " if only given the chance.
Who knows what things could have been accomplished in that time, for myself and for my employer?
A 10-year gap in work history due to motherhood is scary to many employers, and this is understandable.
However, counting that time as nothing and having it trump genuine consideration of past professional experience is maddening and perplexing.
For me, it was a wake-up call that, as a woman, choosing to leave the workforce is a very serious matter with serious consequences. I would caution all young mothers now to not take it as lightly as I did and recognize that the "what have you done lately?" school of thought rules the day.
I experienced, first hand, the unstated yet implicit opinion by many that being a full-time mom for longer than a couple of months equates to no skill, no brains and no business acumen. It is unfair " which is what all the noise is about " and it shortchanges everyone, but it's a truth and it's a tough one to accept.
***
Another Mother's Day is upon us. The world goes on. Women have babies they stay home to take care of and employers search for good employees. As the resumes are reviewed, one can only hope an assumption will not be made that those two things are mutually exclusive.
Ruth Knestrict Smith is a Kent resident.

1.	Posted by kimbakj May 11, 2008
	Well...you can always have a career of some sorts but you will never get back,buy back or wish back the years that you spend with your children.I chose to be a CAREER mom (that's full-time mom)because children are not a week end activity.They require full time nurturing,love,discipline,attention, and parenting.I did use my college education to and for the benefit of my children.Did we go without?Yes we did. We went without the items that equate status and luxury.Did my children require everything under the sun?Nope. I never bought them cars,expensive toys or gadgets.Was it important to keep up with the Jones?No it was not.They had a wonderful home,they felt safe,they felt loved,and they knew that one way or another mom would take care of them no matter what.Today, my children are grown.I have wonderful memories and three of the best,intelligent,funny,good,and loving children that a mother could ask for.Once I got to a point where I realized that it was MY job and MY responsibility to raise positive and productive people that I chose to bring into this world.Children are not "things" that we entertain or buy things to express our love or get out of our hair.They require the good employ of a strong,loving,caring,woman.The job title is "Mom",requires alot of overtime,on the spot and quick thinking,hugs,may have to clean up boo boos,and you will have some crying time when poor choices are made or experience an quiet time when they leave the nest.The pay is contingent on what you personally deem as valuable.You may get crayon scribbles for cards and wilted dandilions as a bonus.But it is a lifetime of gratitude observing the benefits of your dedication as you watch your "projects" become productive and happy adults.But if you were too busy to listen to your children,had to be other places,spending too much time at the club or drinking your lunches away,the results may have a different outcome for you.I gave up a career in the "real world" and the time I spent with my children has not made me feel short changed at all.Now that my children are grown,I find that I am not bitter about horrible professional experiences,my life is not rushed,what I value cannot be bought with any amount of money.The word "career" is an under valued and over rated experience.What I have observed over the years is that there are alot of idiots running the business world.These people do not have the mental capacity to recognize talent,experience,and a good employ.They have to hire to the budget.I have had to work with bosses who were "pyschos".One who while she made things look good on the outside was completely looney on the inside. Another boss was so incompetent on the people managing skills that it was so obvious that he was hard up for money and fit the budget.Otherwise I would'nt even let this guy look through my garbage let alone manage people!The other thing..we live in Ohio.The career scape in this state has been pretty bleak for several years and that trend is not going away.The young people are leaving this state like crazy.They are even leaving to attend universities outside of Ohio because they can't afford to attend their own state universities!But see, a full time mom gathers this kind of information along the way.She uses it to promote and benefit her children.Being a full time mom made me realize what was really important in this life.it was'nt until I got into the career world that I saw how crazy and insane people can really be.I found out that there is a real beauty to the less is more concept. I am so honored that I am a mother.There is no career that can top that!