John M. Crisp: The other domestic violence

McClatchy-Tribune News Service Published:

Some problems just never go away. Israel and Hamas. Climate change. Men hitting women.

The last issue was in the news again last week. Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice was caught on tape dragging his unconscious fiancée out of an elevator. Rice appears to have punched his now wife, Janay Rice, knocking her out.

Perhaps our nation has made some progress in this area. Perhaps we're more aware of the problem of domestic violence and provide more resources for women whose husbands and boyfriends beat them up than we did in the past.

But the pendulum took a swing in the wrong direction last week when the National Football League suspended Rice for only two games, a punishment that struck many as mild for such a significant offense.

Ray Rice apologized. Janay Rice stopped short of apologizing. And the NFL hasn't apologized, at all.

A statistic or two undercuts the attractive ideal of the American home as a place of refuge and security. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence reports that 25 percent of women will experience some form of domestic violence and about a third of all female homicide victims are killed by their intimate partners.

Many women aren't nearly as safe in their homes as they should be. But consider this form of domestic violence -- men hitting women -- in the context of another -- men and women hitting children.

Of course, children shouldn't be abused, physically or in any other way. Nevertheless, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services reports that 1,600 children die annually from abuse and neglect. Close to 700,000 suffer from non-fatal abuse. And the Department of Agriculture reports that 15 percent of American households are "food insecure," yet another type of abuse.

Then there's the spanking. We use the term to describe a variety of practices that range from a gentle, open-handed pat on a young child's behind to extended thrashings of older children.

However we define spanking, we do a lot of it. In fact, outside of sports such as boxing and hockey, the only members of our culture that we can hit with impunity are also the most vulnerable, the children.

Maybe there's some boundary that separates controlled disciplinary spanking from child abuse. But since many spankings -- probably most, really -- are administered in anger and frustration, we probably shouldn't have too much confidence in parents' ability to make the distinction.

I don't know if football player Ray Rice was abused as a child, but as with most American children, the chances are that somebody hit him.

I suspect that psychiatrists would decline to suggest any simple cause-and-effect relationship between how Rice was treated as a child and how he treated his fiancée. Let's just say that childhood spankings are the first experience in which children learn that anger, frustration, and power can be expressed by hitting. Then they grow up in a culture where violence is prominent and celebrated, in movies, videogames, real-world news, and even our national game, football.

Maybe we shouldn't be so surprised that Ray Rice hit his future wife. Maybe it would be a healthy step if the rest of us resolved to quit hitting the kids.

------

ABOUT THE WRITER

John M. Crisp, an op-ed columnist for McClatchy-Tribune, teaches in the English Department at Del Mar College in Corpus Christi, Texas. Readers may send him email at jcrisp@delmar.edu.

Distributed by MCT Information Services

----------

PHOTO of John M. Crisp is available from the Columnist Mugs section of www.mctdirect.com.

_____

Topics: t000002458,t000027866,t000148159,t000027879,t000205525,t000027855,t000197291

Want to leave your comments?

Sign in or Register to comment.

  • This quote from his article shows the problem with John Crisp's lack of understanding of discipline: "Maybe there's some boundary that separates controlled disciplinary spanking from child abuse. But since many spankings -- probably most, really -- are administered in anger and frustration, we probably shouldn't have too much confidence in parents' ability to make the distinction."

    He doesn't have confidence in parents' ability to know the difference between spanking and abuse! ..... I don't have confidence in Crisp's ability to know the difference, but I do trust most parents. Why? Because I've seen and met lots of them at various family events, and most are very responsible. His opinion is based on his experiences, which obviously are limited and skewed toward violence. The vast majority of kids are NOT abused, which shows that the vast majority of parents are not abusers. Geez, isn't this obvious to most people who have kids?